• I live with my parents (both). I have job.

  • I did my share duty: I help pay family electricity/water bill, pay my brothers tution fee.

  • Currently, my salary is multiple time my living cost, so I can save more than half of my salary (no pay rent, no marry, no children)

  • My mum has a brotehr who is not financial stable. She help him (few time yearly, not one time, but yearly). She is very stress about this situation. => when she ask me and my dad to chip in, we both said nope, then ask her to give up on that money black hole. => really hurt our family relationship, because she refuse to do so.

  • That dude (my uncle) have family he has to support. If I chip in with my own salary, his children living standard will increase, they will have better future. It will cost me my spare salary (i will not able save like, 50% of my salary per month)

  • But I don’t want to waste money. That money give away is like charity that I can never get back. I don’t want to piggy back few dude on my back for years.

So, how do you think on this case.

  • TheInsane42@lemmy.worldEnglish
    12·
    1 year ago

    Short answer, no, you’re not married to him.

    Even when it would have been your brother, then still no, legally. Morally, maybe, when you know it will help him recover, not stay in trouble longer. (So I can understand your mother, a tad)

    I’d try to talk to your parents about it, how can you help your uncle without dumping cash in a bottemless pit, as doing so did prove not to solve the issue. (Else your mother wouldn’t have to bail him out on a yearly base)

    When you all see no way out, you could try to at least help his kids, support them with stuff they need, help them develop, eat, repair or replace goods, but no cash. Big chance cash would end up at your uncle anyway.

    It’s tough, but you’re only obliged to help your partner when married and your kids when under age, or do the best you can for direct family (parents, brother/sister or your own kids when legally independant), but within reasonable limits.

    Help primarily your mother in this situation, she is your father’s (primairy) and your (secondary) responsability, your uncle isn’t.