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This is something that idk if I’ll ever get used to about lemmy
It’s a meme. It’s a joke. It’s deliberately blown out of proportion.
Y’all need to calm tf down.
so… instead of discussing this… we should what? Post lol in all our coments?
lol
lol
No but the amount of people practically shitting themselves over someone’s social anxiety about phone calls is a little overdramatic.
Gee, it sounds like you have no idea what it’s like to have a panic attack or anxiety attack.
Hint: the phone call is not the problem.
not sure what you’re talking about. My phone anxiety was always based around the phone and making phone calls.
That’s the symptom.
so?
Who are you arguing for here?
me and other people like me who are often misunderstood when having a panic attack.
I’m literally making that same argument.
People are freaking out because other people have social anxiety and don’t like phone calls and it’s pathetic
No… we are not on the same page. It is not “pathetic” to have phone anxiety.
Lol this is the way /s
I think it’s this thing?
🗿
Lol i kinda enjoy the weirdly serious discussions about shitposts. Its both absurd and oddly insightful at times.
Lemmys will follow any topic over the edge of a cliff :P
Pun intended
Always lol
In my direct experience (albeit anecdotal) this is not simply a joke, but reality. So many of my colleagues have this fear, especially the younger ones, and with everyone demanding full remote it fucks my shit up real bad when they won’t even answer the damn phone.
So many people (myself included) text as the default method of phone communication.
In some cases it’s more practical as you can keep multitasking. Especially for work I like when people send me emails or chat messages instead of holding meetings or barging into office, even worse video calls.
Even better, it’s asynchronous. I don’t have to answer right now, I can finish my current thought in my time and respond once I’m ready. That’s why I absolutely hate it if someone just calls me without writing first - it takes me so much longer to get back into things when I can’t close the thought properly.
Yes. I keep telling this to my business partners. They love to call to tell me what needs doing and I keep telling them, I can’t work while I talk to you. Send a message and it gets done in parallel.
Are zoomers really like this?
I don’t think all zoomers are, but a LOT of the people I know are TERRIFIED of phone calls. I was like that too, before I started applying for jobs and had to make like 3 calls a week.
Yeah, I’m a millennial and use to have terrible phone anxiety. It prevented me from being able to get a job for a long time. I would always try to go in person instead because it was less anxiety inducing but never got a job that way.
I’m 40. I don’t even answer the phone if it rings. If it’s important they can leave a message.
Which I’ll check in a few days. If it’s important, and they are pinned underneath a vehicle about to die, they can send a voice memo.
Sorry if I don’t think minor topics are worthy of the immediate attention needed for a phone call?
Phone calls are reserved for emergencies. Otherwise you’re just demanding the instant attention of someone for nothing.
Phone calls aren’t reserved for anything. They’re just phone calls. I’m a huge introvert but it’s like in one particular way millions of people decided to try and be the most annoying introvert possible
It’s more of a Millenial thing. I’m 35 and I don’t pick up the phone ever unless it’s an emergency or a job interview.
I’m 36 and if you want to call me, then fine? Who cares? I don’t get why it’s such a big deal.
It absolutely is not a big deal, this thread is bonkers
Because people suck, and they tend to be more rude on the phone. I don’t want to deal with it.
Not to mention that the only time my phone rings, it’s almost always a scam. I prefer not to engage with bullshitters.
If it’s important, then text me.
How do you know it’s an emergency if you don’t pick up the phone
I don’t if you won’t text me. So it’s on you.
Furthermore, in a real emergency, people tend to blow up your phone. So if someone is calling multiple times, of course I’ll answer, if nothing more than to yell at them for blowing up my phone.
Also almost 40. Fuck synchronous communications. Inferior in every possible way.
How can you even say that? If that’s how you live, no doubt this philosophy causes you issues at least once a week. You’d rather know that [insert major life event] happened…later… and instead of finding out immediately and confirming it/responding to it, you can try to call them later only for it now to be a hassle because they’re not answering, and the only email you have goes to some dumbass ai bot. Yeah so much more convenient than picking up a phone on occasion, when it’s important
Or the exact same thing happens and you can’t even get a response to them because you’re relying on a synchronous mode of communication which requires both parties to be engaged at the same time …
Or you could just send them a message and they’ll see it when they look.
Try texting your 80 year old landlord… being a little flexible isn’t the chore some of you insist
If he wants his rent money he’ll figure it out
???
Why would she react like that to a phonecall?
Because phonecalls are reserved for when you immediately with no delay need someone.
Asking about a show is not one of those cases.
Or just want to talk to someone? Why are we simultaneously normalizing anti-social behavior and wondering why the young people are so unhappy?
Why not text ‘wanna talk sometime’? A call demands an immediate response, so reserve it for things that demand immediate responses.
No it doesn’t. Just don’t pick up the phone. If it’s important they’ll text you to pick up the phone. There’s a reason the terms “phone tag” and “screening calls” exist.
But you don’t know the relative importance of what they’re telling vs what you’re doing. A text gives more information than just seeing your receiving a call.
Damn dude, it’s not that big a deal. Just don’t pick up the phone. If it’s important they’ll find a way to let you know.
if you don’t pick up they’ll get mad and say you never pick up your phone
You will feel terrible if you don’t pick up the phone and it turns out to be something important, like being able to hear the last words of your grandma or something.
Texting is a lot less of a big deal than a phone call is.
I don’t mind much. I just don’t call because it wastes people’s time. But I don’t want to let it go to voice mail because then it wastes their time.
I’m sorry, what’s “phone tag” and “screening calls”? Never heard of any of that.
Haha phone tag is what we used to do before text messages. Call each other over and over and you’re never both available 😂
Thanks for waking me up from the one nap I’ve gotten this year.
Or, you know, you could just talk to a person on the phone.
But it they are in the middle of something they could lose half a minute of time instead of 5 seconds checking a text. It’s the same as opening a phone call with ‘got time to talk’ but more efficient.
Oh no, 30 whole seconds.
Phone calls are never thirty seconds. It’s always fluffed up by twenty minutes of “how are you” and “what are your plans next week” like fam I’m trying to do the dishes and had to scramble to pick up the phone with wet hands, go away
It adds up. Why waste other people’s time? I think it can be inconsiderate.
People are just sooooo busy with their SUPER IMPORTANT lives, that they definitely don’t have 5 minutes to spend unscheduled with the likes of you.
Piss off and get in the text queue like everyone else!
Unless you know for sure that the other person is legitimately bored, sitting around not doing anything, imposing yourself on someone like this is rude.
It’s not imposing. You don’t have to answer.
You would have, if you knew how important it was.
But you can’t know that of a phone call, with a text you can.
So when you “just want to talk” you call someone out of the blue and just expect them to stop what they’re doing and have a little chat? I had a friend like that and I hated it because they always called at the worst moments so I wouldn’t pick up and then they assumed I disliked them and played the victim by a mutual friend. That’s when I actually started disliking them. So don’t randomly call people please thank you.
Also texting someone instead of talking isn’t antisocial behaviour. You can say as much in a text as you can say in a call and the other person can reply to your text and continue doing what they’re doing at the same time.
You absolutely cannot say in a text what you can in a call
You can multitask while texting, true, but that is antisocial. Social, is having a conversation.
how is that antisocial?
Only when you are illiterate can you not say in a text what you can in a call.
If you think that’s true then you are self roasting your own conversationalism.
Maybe this is just me and my circle but if someone just wants to talk I’d typically expect that more over discord or something like that rather than phone call unless they’re older.
Other than that phone call is for urgent stuff or something that’s going to have a lot of back and forth and is quicker pver phone.
Sure, my work uses discord, and I know friends that use it. But my family doesn’t. Plus, if you do sales, or job searching, or anything that involves talking to people for work who don’t directly work for your company then Discord is a little awkward. A phone or zoom call is better.
Discord, that’s a good one. That’s a gaming communication app.
You’ll be screwed in 4-5 years when it goes belly up.
No, Discord is a communication app that is mainly used for gaming.
That is like calling Whatsapp a family communication app.
This is the first time in my life when I encountered an opinion that calling someone is somehow rude and reserved for emergencies. In my social circle and family people just call when they want to talk. Sure, we text often too, but calling is completely normal. And if you can’t or don’t want to talk, you just don’t pick up the phone.
I’m genuinely baffled.
I react this way when my mom calls because she never calls me and the one time she did, it was because my grandmother died.
I can see why you’d fear phone calls then. In my family I get a call from my dad about once a week to ask about my day. Usually the family texts more in the mornings, and more phone calls in the evening. Plus for a while I had to pick up the phone anytime someone called for work reasons. You just get used to it after a while.
For real, the last 2 times my mom called me was to tell me my dad had a heart attack and that my nephew died, so I 100% expect something like that if she calls me.
because why would you call someone if not for something very urgent?
I call people just to have a chat and a catch up.
This is what it feels to struggle with anxiety :(
not one of us, not one of us, not one of us, not…
Probably a normal thing in the US, where families are so broken by default a simple call from a parent sounds like a disaster.
Why use a communication mode that demands an immediate response if you don’t actually need one?
Same reason people at home just come up to each other and start talking (which actually requires immediate response) even when the topic is non-urgent whatsoever, instead of leaving notes around the house.
It’s all based on differing conventions among people, so saying a call “demands immediate response” is putting your convention above others as the only true one.
In my family the convention is a bit different. A single call does not signal any urgency and so no one is expected nor obliged to answer if they don’t feel like it. A second call after the first one wasn’t answered implies importance. Third and more calls imply urgency and then emergency. If something is important or urgent and calls aren’t getting answered, a message is sent.
I like my convention. I also have slightly different conventions with some friends. I am also aware different people may have different conventions and I don’t hold mine to be superior or theirs inferior.
I agree your convention would supercede the one I’m taking about. I kinda like it too.
I think conversation is different though since there is a major effort imbalance between writing a note and taking. But there is no effort imbalance in texting or calling, especially since you can voice type.
Because sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes you just want to hear your kid’s voice. The horror.
Text ‘can we call? I’d love to talk sometime!’
Why so hostile?
I like trolling
Yes, feed my blocklist. It grows corpulent with your bloated corpses.
Man, I’d kill to receive a phone call from my family. Or a text. Or an email. Or a letter.
To me it feels texting takes longer. Call someone up and it’s done in less than a minute. Why write some long ass message?
Most folks don’t even bother writing back… Message seen? Best forget about it.
Edit: typo
For me, it’s about evidence and accountability.
This so much. Text/email/slack leaves a permanent, searchable record. Synchronous communication is complete garbage and there are very few scenarios where it should be tolerated, much less encouraged.
Honestly, I’m at the point where if someone insists on calling, I assume they are up to something and are intentionally trying to not go “on the record”
But… Call recording exists
Not on iPhones*.
Sometimes you don’t want that :)
If someone doesn’t write back it must not have been that important. I’m pretty much never just going to drop what I’m doing and answer the phone to have a conversation about an unknown topic which will take an unknown amount of time.
sounds like you’re getting ghosted for a reason.
As someone with an autism induced fear of phone calls, this comment section is really mean ;-;
I’m with you there brother.
Reading the comic and the comments it’s definitely a cultural/generational thing since there seems to be an even split between those that think a phone call is for urgent business only and those that think a phone call is no big deal and perfectly normal.
It probably depends on whether someone grew up with texting or not. My family only just got smartphones this year and before that we didn’t even have a phone plan with data or texting so from my perspective, calling someone up is perfectly normal. I have noticed that since getting a smartphone, I’ve been primarily communicating with text messages (which from what I understand is also a bit outdated).
This comic strip is flawed… nobody who would react that way to a phone call would have their phone out of silent mode.
The like 5 times I’ve heard my phone in a decade were all on accident.
I was a shift manager at a casino. After that job ended, I’ve never had my phone off silent and I won’t talk on it unless it’s 200% necessary…I just perpetually and always have bad service…don’t ask about the faraday cage in my workshop, it came like that when I built it.
I think this is a skill issue
What I hate is the expectation that I am to be on standby for whoever calls me. All the time. Fuck that. Send a letter. Show some respect and have some patience. Communication with me is not a right. I’ll not respond when I think its not important. And if you call me allot, it’s never important. I do however get the heart attack feeling every time you do call.
I only call my friends and family if it’s time sensitive or urgent.
get the heart attack feeling
Brother, what? Are you made of paper? Will an errant breeze threaten to blow you away?
Like, prefer whatever communication method you want, but really? Heart attack feeling? Come on, there’s no way you’re even coming close to jumping over a phone call.
And if you are, do you understand how to put your phone on vibrate/silent? This is such a non-issue
Some people have really bad anxiety especially around phone calls. Sometimes anxiety or a panic attack can feel like a heart attack.
Bro it’s a fuckin figure of speech why are all of you people so butthurt about people not liking phone calls?
Change your ringtone then, jeez.
calls have a big red “no” button yk
I’m and introvert and prefer texting but this is too much man
Yeah, this can be a generational cultural difference.
I mourned the death of my grandfather three separate times when my mother texted me “please call”. Each time when I called back I learned something different:
- We had to change our lunch plans.
- There was an alarming local news article about driving conditions.
- My grandfather had died.
I certainly take the comedic value from this. My dad is a classic technophobe. He believes the phone is there for emergencies only, and if a call between him and me needs to happen, he will get my mum to phone. With that, the two times in the past 8 years I have got a call, it has been an emergency… I dread the day he might phone and just go, “Just checking in to see how you are.”
So yeah, there is a comical side to this, which I certainly see.
