Cisgender woman here, I just wanted to add that if my husband were to come out as trans, that would not be a tragedy or something I wished he’d gotten figured out sooner for my sake. In this hypothetical scenario, if it somehow managed to make us incompatible as married partners we’d deal with it but people have gotten divorced for much worse reasons before. The worst part for me would be worrying if he’d been miserable during our marriage, because I love him and would hate for that to be his experience of our time together.

It’s really hard to imagine because AFAIK we’re both cis but personally I’d probably prefer to stay married to my spouse even if he changed his gender identity. I mean he’s still the same person I married and we still love the same things and have a wonderful life and child together. I dunno, maybe it wouldn’t work out in the end but I sure as hell wouldn’t be mad at him for something he couldn’t change.

Anyways, my point is you don’t have to assume that your relationships with cis people will all get blown up if you do happen to be trans. I appreciate the urge to have your ducks all in a row before embarking on significant life events but the truth is that marriage and adulthood is super messy anyways. If you marry someone and have a kid with them the odds are good you will have all sorts of chaotic events to deal with- physical illnesses, mental illnesses, kid stress or illness, weight gain or loss, money trouble, job changes, changes in personality with age, the list goes on and on. The trick to being happily married is rolling with the changes, working hard at your partnership, and being committed to your partner, not having it all perfectly lined up at the start.

Audiobooks+ some other mindless activity shuts my brain off really well. Find a series you love that your library has and pick up a new sudoku or other puzzle app and go to town.

If you’re having trouble finding books I recommend a long sci fi or fantasy series. The Expanse is great, or Dune is also fantastically long. If fantasy is more your style maybe someone can recommend something but I know the wheel of time has a ton of books.

As for mindless things to do while you listen to audiobooks, either find a puzzle game or pick something up to do with your hands that requires few materials and is calming and productive. Here are a few that work for me:

Coloring (you can print out free coloring pages from the Internet like the ones here: https://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/adult-coloring-pages/)

Color by number

Crochet or knitting (lots of good online tutorials and making a scarf is a good first project)

Modeling clay (just reuse the same clay over and over again if you want to save money/supplies)

Yoga

Walking on a treadmill or riding an exercise bike

Weightlifting with free weights at home

Tai chi

Best of luck, I know this type of thing is tough. Try to stick to regular wake/sleep cycles as much as possible and get outside during the day if you can, it definitely helps. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon.

Most useful off-road vehicle I’ve ever driven was a lot like this thing: https://www.offroaderie.com/new-models/kawasaki-side-x-side-mule-sx-2036834140399698232475668

Or just a regular sized pickup truck, which I’ve also used for plenty of sites. But honestly I prefer the mules because they hold all the stuff I need for work and can fit through most forest understory. And in the rare chance that you happen to turtle them it’s possible to pull them off/out of whatever they’re stuck on. If you get a giant truck stuck in the mud you’re donezo.

I also took my Toyota Prius to plenty of sites, although I’d never off-road with it when the ground is swampy or sandy it did fine on plenty of rough roads and open fields. I’m sure a Subaru or other small all wheel drive sedan could handle lots of off-road work sites.

Not to mention they don’t even fucking fit in off-road situations half the time. Unless you’re in a wide open field or have giant cleared roads (in which case why do you need an ultimate off-road machineTM), most off-road situations in the eastern US are going to involve trees. Try driving around trees in that thing and you’ll be stuck in a matter of minutes.

For all the actual off road work I’ve done, the best vehicle has always been those little utility off-road vehicles (we call them mules or gators but I’m sure they have a real name) or just a regular-sized pickup truck with 4 wheel drive and low gears.

Thank you for reminding me this plant is edible. I’ve always wanted to try it as a tea and I’ve got a very healthy patch of it this year!

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat, you piece of shit!”

Yeah… We’re talking about people who literally want us dead. And because it’s America, they likely own guns. Some of them are literal neo-Nazis or Christian fascists and might actually try to do you harm if you’re Jewish, Muslim, or gay. Making friends with them isn’t just painful and unpleasant, it’s dangerous.

Just to give you a sense of the type of things that you might have to sit through to be “friends” with these folks… My cousin had a kid in her Catholic school class write an essay comparing gayness to bestiality. Another cousin’s husband constantly misgendered my trans sibling on purpose. My parents’ neighbors hung a flag on their wall depicting a person pointing a gun at my parents’ house.

I’ll give you a pass since you’re from Europe and have no sense for the level of extremism embraced by our right wing political groups but trust me… If “just talk to your neighbors” worked we’d be doing it. As it is, your best bet is to avoid them knowing your politics and get out if you can.

This is actually the main policy stance of the Liberal Gun Club. That we’re spending all this time regulating guns and ignoring/underaddressing the root causes like mental health issues, domestic violence, toxic masculinity, income inequality, poverty, etc.

Not to say that guns shouldn’t be regulated to some extent, but with the way mental health is in America I’m pretty sure we’d just see a spike in knife and baseball bat crime and suicide by hanging if we somehow magically got rid of guns.

https://theliberalgunclub.com/about-us/root-cause-mitigation-2/

Ataulfo mangoes. At least in the northeast US, they are reliably delicious and ripen on the counter.

Cortland apples

I was told this when I was younger. I think it’s less about the sweater causing the breakup and more that a sweater is a lot of work and you’d feel really awful giving someone something you worked on for months and months (don’t judge I’m a slow knitter lol) and then them breaking up with you later and either giving you back the sweater you made for them (awkward, I guess?) or walking away with a priceless item that you spent a lot of time making.

I personally think everyone has a different threshold and if you like making sweaters then make them for whoever you like! Heck make them for random strangers if that floats your boat. Half of the fun is in making things, and you can only have so many sweaters before you have to start giving them away anyways.

You would need a pretty big solar array to power a construction site with it. But you’re headed in the right direction. Not only is it an option to use renewables to power battery-powered vehicles, but also pretty much any form of electricity generation increases in efficiency and decreases in emissions (per kilowatt generated) as it scales up. Even if you are burning the same fuel at the power plant, the emissions are going to be lower overall than the equivalent number of individual internal combustion engines because the efficiency of the power plant is much higher than an ICE. Vehicle engines are ridiculously inefficient overall and when you use a more efficient fuel like natural gas it is even more drastic of a difference.

It’s also much easier to put stack controls on a power plant to capture or reduce emissions than it is to put emissions controls on all construction equipment individually. This has implications for carbon capture, which could happen right at the stack. However, there’s a non-climate change benefit here as well which is that the local air quality would be greatly increased around construction sites. Currently most construction equipment does not have much in the way of emissions controls for other things like sulfur and nitrogen oxides or particulate emissions. Power plants have to meet emissions standards for all of these.

Yeah I feel you on that, the fieldwork stage of the job can get tiring really fast, especially with the more routine stuff like asbestos and LNAPL spills. Vapor intrusion work is less of a bear, we’re doing a lot of that lately and it’s nice because it’s indoors in the winter. I work in a larger company with a variety of projects so I’m not always doing the same thing and that definitely helps. In my current company people do tend to graduate out of the field positions fairly quickly (like 5 years) and move on to a desk job or at least a partial desk job but those first few years when you’re in the field a lot can be hard and maybe impossible if you have any dependents that keep you from traveling.

I think it depends on your field of engineering and how much you enjoy the work. I find environmental engineering to be satisfying and a very dependable/lucrative income compared to many other non-engineering fields I might have been interested in.

Add to that most other fields that pay similarly or higher (doctor, lawyer, etc) require more/costlier schooling and it’s a pretty sweet deal to be able to go into the job market with only a bachelor’s or masters and making a decent wage right off the bat.

Of course the same enshittification/race to the bottom for prices affects us too but I don’t know if there’s any career that escapes that entirely.

I would also think maybe certain engineering fields are more stable than others. Mine is particularly recession-proof since we’re driven by regulation (and bipartisan-supported regulation at that), not the economy. Massive layoffs are not that common in many of the other more “physical” engineering fields like structural, electrical, or mechanical either and even if you are laid off there is usually another company hiring. The skills are pretty portable as well so if you want to change careers you have a pretty good chance at being successful.

Is it a field of rainbows and butterflies? No, but it’s a hell of a lot better than plenty of other jobs out there and it pays the bills.

Environmental engineer. I clean up chemical messes like oil spills, and make sure that the resulting land is safe enough for people to live on it.

It’s fun and challenging, if somewhat depressing at times. Some things take a LONG time to clean up. On the plus side, I have great job security.

You’re not missing anything, people are just weird about it.

Also the person who named it “toilet-to-tap” is an idiot. Reclaimed water is “toilet to tap” in the same way that a vegetable grown in compost is “garbage to garden.” There’s a host of sophisticated engineering processes in between the two, making the water just as clean as any other treated drinking water.

Mixing with river water or putting the water in a reservoir and then pumping it back out again simply makes people feel more comfortable about it and, like you said, reduces the “ick” factor.

Trike! Or recumbent trike. Or an e-trike.

Get an ebike. It solves several of your cons at once.

No need to wear spandex or neon to ride on an ebike (or any bike honestly I bike everywhere and the only neon thing I own is my rain pants) just put lights on your bike and don’t dress all in black.

Can’t help you with the helmet, that one’s pretty important but there’s lots of nice looking helmets out there.

No getting sweaty on an ebike unless you want to, because you can crank the pedal assist if you’re starting to sweat.

Have literally never had an issue finding somewhere to park my bike. Sure have an issue finding car parking though. At the downtown garage I park at, cars are $20 an hour but bikes are free.

You’ll probably go faster than the cars if there’s lots of traffic. We’ve done a car vs bike race a few times when we had both starting the same place and going to the same place and the ebike always wins or is like 10 minutes behind at most.

Bluetooth speakers and transparent headphones both solve the music issue.

Many ebikes have extra cargo capacity, so grocery runs are easier. If you’ve got a large family then you might need a cargo bike or to rent a car periodically for large trips.

The only real downside imo is the weather if you live somewhere extremely cold/hot and the safety from riding near cars. The rest is easy to get over once you’re zipping down the road at 20mph getting those sweet, sweet biking endorphins.

Dwarf/small plants for small spaces. I spent years trying to grow regular sized tomatoes on a balcony and having them go totally wild. Now with dwarf tomatoes I can easily fit them in pots in my yard. Same with sweet peas- they make varieties that grow shorter, which is great if you don’t have a super tall space to grow in.

In general find varieties that work for your space/garden and grow those. It’s okay to not grow the same stuff as everyone else.

Also, grow potatoes in buckets. Gosh darn it but the home grown veg guy is right. It’s just easier.

To build on this, just because something didn’t work one year, don’t give up on it entirely! Tweak something and try again. I had a terrible year last year with one of my dwarf tomato breeds, but this year they’re doing great because I kept them warmer as seedlings. Similarly my cilantro that never took off last year is going strong this year due to more watering.

Gardening is a learning process. Embrace what works for you and change what doesn’t.

Also I’d never heard of aeroponics but that is super cool!

Seriously, that stuff is delicious! Don’t throw it out.

Add it to cornbread, use it to fry vegetables, put it on popcorn, use it to season your cast iron… The list goes on and on. And it keeps almost indefinitely in the fridge thanks to all the salt. There is almost no reason I can think of to throw out bacon grease unless you eat so much bacon that you can’t possibly keep up with the grease or you don’t have a refrigerator.