Can’t catch a break

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  • 117 Comments
Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: October 12th, 2023

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  • I’m a lesbian and my partner is also partially disabled. She manages her conditions but as far as we know, it’s as good as it will get. (I have chronic issues too but I am typically mobile.)

    We like to game together. We watch movies together. She also games with her friends and I go out and do other more physically demanding activities with my own friends. We like to discover new food and talk about politics.

    We found that our sense of humor and morality aligns well and we enjoy each other’s company. That and the fact that she was independent drew me to her.

    Good luck out there.










  • I prefer to have some ingredients that are more flexible over having a specialized product that only makes few things or just one thing.

    I do like to bake and I cook a fair amount, so ingredients like flour, baking soda, baking powder, and sugar go far in my household.

    Sometimes my family needs to go on special diets and having more control over what goes into my food helps a lot. (That low FODMAP diet was a bitch.)

    But that’s just my situation. These types of mixes save a lot of time and effort. Can’t really knock that.


  • Get some Velcro cable ties or some twist ties or something.

    Then you should bundle up each cable and categorize them.

    • A/V cables
    • USB cables
    • Power cords
    • Extension cords
    • Specialized chargers
    • Power bricks
    • …and what ever else you might need

    Look at your specialized chargers. Do you still own the devices that those use? Discard if no.

    Look in each category. If you have a lot of any one cable type, consider paring them down. Get rid of anything damaged. I knew someone that went crazy on Mono price and had hundreds of USB micro cables. They donated all but about 50 and they are still doing ok in that department.

    Now for all of your strange cables, it’s a judgement call for you if you want to keep these or not. Does the value they give you (the possibility of needing them again and saving yourself the need to procure a new cable) outweigh the cost of keeping it (the space they take up in your living space or storage, plus the need to have to transport them when you move)? The answer to this is different for everyone. If you have a very small living area, the “cost” of keeping those cables is higher than if you have plenty of space. If you don’t care about technology, that space could have been taken up by something you do care about.

    I know it can be a big undertaking, but you got this!


  • The sound is bad enough but with properly constructed walls, it’s not a problem.

    I have other problems with shared walls. Your neighbors have cockroaches? Now you do too! Bedbugs? Yep those can come on in too. If you live in an apartment, then you bet the landlord will cheap out and not do as effective treatments. You think being clean and not keeping things in cardboard will stop them? Maybe temporarily but they’re just waiting to come back out from the walls where they weren’t treated. Joy!

    The other thing is that if your neighbor smokes cigarettes inside, then you get some bonus secondhand smoke. If you have bad reactions even with allergy medications and HEPA filters, well I guess it’s time for you to move or suffer. (You didn’t want to use your PTO on anything not sick days right?)

    Did your neighbors have a plumbing problem that they neglected? Congratulations on your new mold in your shared walls. (You wanted to call code enforcement on your landlord about this? Good luck, they won’t enforce it.)

    I’m sure there are real solutions to my above problems but my reality is that the only solution is to move when it’s too much to bear. (Haven’t lived in one place for more than 2 years because of it…)



  • I remember your old posts. You made the right call.

    It’s hard to tell how long you will be sad. For me, I was sad in the beginning because I missed the good times in the relationship and the things that I wished the relationship could have been. It faded the more I remembered the bad times and how much they weren’t worth any good times, and how my own vision of what I wanted the relationship to be would never come to fruition.

    You might logically know it, but you won’t truly know it after some time. Don’t beat yourself up over that.

    Right now, focus on yourself and your healing. It might take a week. It might take a month or even a few. But either way you can get through this, and when you do, you will be tougher and wiser. You got this!