Building Loom

pexavc@lemm.ee

pexavc@loom.nyc

  • 23 Posts
  • 111 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • Get enough personal funding for my parents to be taken care of.

    Then build indie games for the rest of my life. Making single person RPGs. Where the stories can fill the void of my need to write novels. And the themes being a culmination of all the games I have played that had a role in guiding some sense of morality or drama. Such as the last mission on Halo Reach or the Mass Effect Trilogy, or Outer Wilds etc.

    I’d want to compose, do the artwork, and the development for this, an all-out love letter to this form of storytelling. Spending years fine tuning every single detail as if it’s an elaborate sculpture. Details so small the crescendos of the OST, exactly match animations and playable cutscenes. All until, I feel I have reached a personal magnum opus, of the games released thus far.

    And then say good bye. Moving on and living a simple life.






  • Edit: tbh, I see how the question is framed as a general question too.

    I think overall, therapy is a great solution. I wish it was easier to start the process in the states. Surprisingly I haven't had any experience truly understanding anti-depressants or being close to those that took them and were open talking about them. I wish I knew more about their effects on how they help with self-assurance.



  • that’s the time to reëxamine what you just said

    yeah this is definitely hard, I feel like sometimes it is hard to see what caused it. or overthinking on what is it that provoked. and then focusing on probably the wrong causation and then basing everything afterwards on that.

    Genuinely asking, Do you usually ask for clarification even on that or not? I feel it would make it worse, “What did I do, to make you say that just now to me?” I would normally think it comes off as arrogant.

    someone disagrees, try to politely ask why. Most people are willing to explain where you fucked up a long as you don’t get defensive.

    Yeah, the problem is sometimes, the experiences don’t match up properly and the explanation will still not fit the reason for disagreement. Navigating past that, is really difficult. Because I feel it then becomes a battle of egos. Because all points on the table, self-included, will not fit the solution. But, I guess maybe in these situations a third party is necessary?


  • can manage is to find fault with a self-serving characterization of a falsely dichotomous opposing position. So they need to be able to assign me to one or the other team

    Oh wow, this is kind of what I have experienced. The tougher part for me, it was someone that wasn’t a stranger. It made me self-doubt intensely. And I resorted to doing the same, without thinking that I changed myself completely at the moment. Pointing out flaws rather than bringing it back to the main “issue”. (I never am one to “confront”, so it felt like a new frontier).

    Cutting ties with these types, has probably been the biggest mental improvement I have had. And a huge boost in most other aspects of my life. But, I still have these self-doubt questions. But, this time around trying to discover those answers via the suggestions/similar strategies listed in this thread, I feel is much healthier moving forward.

    And to go all the way back, it could be said that the exact problem is that they have unfounded confidence.

    And it’s sort of ironic really, because they’re generally driven by a psychological need to be right, and clinging desperately to one fixed position pretty much guarantees that right is the one thing they will not be.

    This is all spot on to be honest

    And to go all the way back, it could be said that the exact problem is that they have unfounded confidence.

    I definitely have unfounded confidence as well, but am one to internalize all the causation or experiences that aggravate it. Leaning on those I view have “resolved” those issues I see in myself.

    And it’s sort of ironic really, because they’re generally driven by a psychological need to be right, and clinging desperately to one fixed position pretty much guarantees that right is the one thing they will not be.

    Which is why when I see traits like this, I tend to mirror thinking its the correct approach. Instead of realizing the flaws of absolutism.



  • It definitely makes sense. and that’s what makes it more complicated. because it is also hard to relay context to get second opinions. sometimes what’s left is personal reflection, but practicing how to remove self-bias and not re-adjusting past memories to fit an argument is very difficult.

    Thank you for listing those categories, it’s nice seeing them out in print to properly remember.









  • https://github.com/ossu/computer-science

    There are repos like this.

    Or there are repos like this: https://github.com/parthsuresh/stylegan2-colab

    Where the latter has lots of materials to essentially train and run your own ML models. Teaching a lot of advanced topics simply in a way, using tools like Google’s colab. Using tools like Discord to handle discussion thereafter, seeking volunteers to improve or foster discussion in general.

    There was one project, that was a simple react app, but meant for those in the Arts. Connecting famous works with news headlines of their time period. Allowing you to connect the dots around time frame and artistic movements in a more visual and impactful way. With a simple understanding of npm as an Arts Major, you could greatly improve your learning experience.

    I feel all the materials are already there out in the open. Yet many do not take advantage or know how to access them or know how these projects can help them. Even with the age of LLMs, I’ve felt it hasn’t impacted the curiosity variable I mentioned either. When I say improve, I have wanted to build a tool which acts like the index to create your own lesson plan using all these FOSS software. Where FOSS is important because it provides the code for tinkering as a lot of kids, especially me, learn better with hands-on learning.

    I just feel a lot of contributors out there do a great job already in teaching and providing. But, I’d love to talk about how we can integrate these into actual curriculum, and not some school club or after-school activity. I am no educator, so this is the part where I’d like to learn more about. And if that’s not a possibility, then how can the process of looking for these tools and learning how to learn be shared instead online.