• 7 Posts
  • 289 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 16th, 2023

help-circle

  • Ooh, we should have them put up the Five Commandments of Discordianism (a.k.a. the PENTABARF) too!

    THE PENTABARF

    The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

    KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

    I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

    II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

    III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

    IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

    V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

    IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.



  • I will never understand the giga-rich. They could afford to hire round-the-clock help at rates that both buy expertise and inspire loyalty. Your house staff know where the bodies are buried, maybe literally—there’s no world where it makes sense to pay them less than six figures. Remember, $100,000 is 0.01% of $1,000,000,000, or about 0.003% of their estimated net worth of $37B. They could hire an extra maid at $100,000/year and not even notice the expense.

    But they can afford even more than that. Splurge a little. Hire a specialist in early childhood education to tutor your kids. Get a chef who graduated from a renowned culinary school. They could afford to spend millions on salary. Why skimp? What do they think they are saving up for?







  • I started a new character (mostly because I no longer have a working PC, so I had to switch to playing on my roommate’s PS5) and am about 40 hours in now. I know I should be trying to actually advance, but I can’t stop myself from puttering around the open world.

    I did, for once, decide to restrain myself and only level my main stats (Strength, Vigor, Endurance) instead of branching out into a little bit of everything to hit stat requirements for spells and weapons just to try them out. Either I suddenly got a lot better than I remembered being, or leveling sensibly makes the game like 10x easier.

    One problem I’m anticipating for the DLC: I’ve already settled into an aesthetic I like, with lightly-armored sellsword vibes (bastard sword, Vulgar Militia armor, bandit boots, bandit manchettes). So there is a good chance that I pick up all the new DLC items, go “oh that’s neat, but not for this character” and then never give them a decent shot. :P

    Edit: Holy shit Starscourge Radahn is, like, a real boss? The first time I played I killed him on my second try and I didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about. I spent the entire rest of the game making fun of him by pointing out enemies that are “literally stronger than Radahn.” But, uh, now he’s kicking my teeth in and it turns out I didn’t learn the fight at all. Did his hitboxes used to be bugged or something? I seem to recall that I previously killed him just by hugging his feet and mashing R1 while all his attacks missed me, but that is not currently happening, LMAO.











  • Amnesia reminds me: another problem with horror games is that “game” elements are at odds with “horror” elements. I played the demo for Amnesia and the atmosphere broke as soon as I picked up a chair, because the next thing I thought was “If I can pick up chairs, can I stack them?” and there was nothing to stop me from lugging it to the next chair, which looked very silly and distracted from the feeling the game was trying to impart… and the answer turned out to be yes, you can stack chairs.

    You know you start that level having apparently fallen through a hole from an upper floor? I wanted to know what was up there, so I went around and gathered all the chairs in the level to make a big rickety chair stack I could sort of awkwardly jump up. I guess they knew someone would do that, because there was a cheeky message scrawled on the wall up there. But it’s completely impossible to be scared by a game after you’ve spent twenty minutes faffing around with physics objects.